Last weekend my son felt "funny" again. A huge array of emotions started to surface, and quickly escalated to disorientation and physical instability. My first thoughts were, "Oh boy, here we go again." Unfortunately, once a year my son experiences crazy feelings and sensations on an emotional, physical and mental level. They come on suddenly, without warning and explanation, and alter his world and, of course, ours. He remembers nothing about it, and I am left feeling my FEAR big time, until I realized the extraordinary circumstances surrounding this particular event while it was happening.
Each event takes us to the ER, and last weekend was no exception. Because of COVID it was quiet and almost eerie because of so few people. My son was placed in a private observation unit where he wouldn't be disturbed yet able to receive a lot of attention. Being quite unaware, he waved to every passerby; nurse, Dr., technician and patient. Surprisingly they all smiled and waved back. With every nurse that came by he interviewed them as if he were a TV host, asking intimate details about their lives, which they answered. Some he flirted with, and some he even said, "I love you". They reacted with surprise, and were genuinely flattered by his compliments. Some even laughed heartily and were grateful to have a good laugh on their shift. I was grateful too because his behavior (which he did not remember) distracted me from my fear and made me laugh as well. I also got a kick out of the reactions of the nursing staff. I guess we are all human, even in crisis.
Another surprising turn of events in the ER was when I became distracted once again by two nurses and a Doctor who each wanted to talk to me individually and at different times about deceased loved ones, raising a special needs child, and stress management. I don't know how they knew what I know about these subjects, or why they were drawn to discuss this with me in the first place, but I am so very glad they did. At first I thought, "Oh, I have one of those kind of faces because it happens all the time." But then I realized, "It's grace." Grace because it removed my own fear while helping someone else. It's all about kindness and connecting to another human being. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Edgar Cayce: "You'll not be in Heaven if you're not leaning on the arm of someone you have helped. You GROW to Heaven, you don't go to Heaven."
Empathic telepathy is more common than we might think. We know what telepathy is: mind to mind communication. Empathic telepathy is the ability to "feel" what another's emotions or physical sensations are. I suppose many husbands and wives can complete the other's sentences. But for parents of special needs children, I believe God grants us the ability to connect with our children empathically. Because of the love that connects and bind us, most parents are able to know what their kids need on an intuitive level which helps the parenting greatly; especially if the child is non verbal (or in my case unresponsive while in an altered consciousness).
One of the moms in my psychic/mediumship development class recently reported that she could feel the different physical sensations of her daughter's infliction. She knew when to check in on her daughter because her own body told her what her daughter was going through. She became a maternal barometer. I found this fascinating. When my son exhibited early signs of distress, I started to ask myself, "Is this mine or his?"
For example: I started to feel a strange tingling in my body. I asked, "What are you physically feeling?" And he answered, "I feel a buzzing". When I started to feel lightheaded I asked, "What are you feeling?" And he answered, "I feel dizzy like on a boat that's swaying." When I felt mentally foggy I asked, "What are you feeling?" And he answered, "I don't feel myself, I feel fuzzy in my head." I found this doubly fascinating because I realized that it is not just a gift for the other mom and I. It is a generous gift we give ourselves when we acknowledge our intuition. All parents have it if they choose to recognize it. Perhaps all loving connections. Because the only thing that is necessary to achieve this phenomenon is love and your intention to believe it's true.
I believe it was the humor, connection and empathy that helped me through another family crisis. Many people have asked me, "How do you do it?" First I say, "Because I can." But I follow that remark by reminding them they can too..."You can always shift where you are, so what moment do you choose?" A quote by an ancient guide of wisdom.
On a positive note: We finally received the answer to why my son was experiencing what he has for the last eight years. I was firm and relentless to get to the root of the problem and not just treat the presenting symptoms and stabilize the condition. Move over Norma Rae, another story for another day.
I invite you to respond by leaving a comment about how YOU overcome fear and get moving when the going gets tough. We all have powerful stories to tell. Please share yours for someone else can surely benefit. Thank you!
Debra Taubenslag, Author
No Stone Unturned: How My Special Needs Child and I Transformed Against All Odds
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